Healing doesn’t come from understanding them — it comes from forgiving yourself for not seeing it sooner.

 Ending a relationship with a narcissist isn’t just a breakup — it’s a psychological war you didn’t know you were fighting until it was over. People who haven’t lived it often ask, “Why can’t you just move on?” as if it’s that simple. They don’t understand that you’re not only grieving a person — you’re grieving an illusion. You fell in love with a version of someone that never truly existed, yet your body and mind still remember the love-bombing, the warmth, the moments that felt real. You’re left trying to mourn a fantasy while also piecing together the truth that every “I love you” came with hidden motives.

The hardest part isn’t just losing them — it’s losing yourself. Somewhere along the way, they trained you to prioritize their emotions over yours, to silence your needs, to question your sanity. You became who they wanted you to be — agreeable, apologetic, small. Then they discarded you like you never mattered. You stand in front of the mirror now, searching for the person you used to be before their manipulation rewired your entire nervous system. How do you explain that? How do you put into words the heartbreak of realizing that the very person who broke you also taught you to depend on them for comfort?

And even after everything — the lies, the gaslighting, the emotional chaos — part of you still waits for the version of them that once made you feel seen. That’s the cruel irony of narcissistic abuse. You crave closure from someone who built their power on your confusion. You want peace, but they only know control. The healing, therefore, doesn’t come from understanding them — it comes from forgiving yourself for not seeing it sooner. Because breaking free from a narcissist isn’t about letting go of a lover; it’s about reclaiming your mind, your peace, and the version of you that believed love wasn’t supposed to hurt like this.