INSECURE ATTACHMENT IS WOUNDED POLARITY

 INSECURE ATTACHMENT IS WOUNDED POLARITY

If there is attraction, there is polarity… Always.

But what that polarity is, and how it plays out, really depends on what is driving it.

Just like a magnet

Attraction is always to an opposite

A feminine being yearns for her masculine

A masculine being pursues his feminine

Attraction is not rational, however.

And, sadly, the nature of this day and age

Has given us more kinks

Than we know how to handle.

The masculine…

So stoic, so independent, so freedom focused

When wounded

He does not know how truly embody this freedom

Instead he pushes away, hides his feelings, becomes untouchable.

In a man, or a woman, we call this:

Avoidant.

The feminine…

So receptive, so intimate, so relationally focused

When wounded

She does not know how to truly relax into intimacy

Instead she clings, overshares her feelings, becomes needy.

In a woman, or a man, we call this:

Anxious

These two poles… avoidant and anxious

They dance together in a dysfunctional tango of suffering

Push and pull

Break up and make up

It’s hot, but it’s also not.

This is a polarity.

The wounded masculine fights for his freedom at the expense of any relationship.

The wounded feminine fights for connection at the expenses of herself.

Together they tear apart any possibility of the true depths of intimacy available.

Because in order to find attraction with our mate,

We always need polarity.

And if we haven’t healed our nervous systems.

Haven’t discovered how to bond as integrated adults.

Then what you will find is this wounded dance.

Where love withers and the petals of hope fall without renewal.

To truly know the possibilities of masculine and feminine polarity though

Is to grow beyond the insecurity.

Passion thrives in Secure Relating.

~Damien Bohler

Art: Finders Keepers

Empower Wholeness Intimacy

https://EmpowerWholeness.com

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Wish You'd Miss Me

 

I was good for you
You were bad for me
I was solid ground
You were broken wings

I gave you love, you gave me pain
You gave me hell, I gave you grace
I was good for you
You were bad for me

So why do I still wish you'd call me, call me?
And why do I still pray you care?
I was blind to what I didn't want to see
And I knew all along that you were gonna leave
So why do I still wish you'd miss me?
(Still wish you'd miss me)
(Still wish you'd miss me)

I wish I could hate you
It'd sure make things easier
But that ain't changing
What we're not and what we were, no

I gave you love, you gave me pain
You gave me hell, I gave you grace

So why do I still wish you'd call me, call me?
And why do I still pray you care?
I was blind to what I didn't want to see
And I knew all along that you were gonna leave
So why do I still wish you'd miss me?

You were still with me
With my hand on your leg on that bench seat
That you would still kiss me
And it would still hit me
Like that late night parked on a side street

So why do I still wish you'd call me, call me?
And why do I still pray you care?
I was blind to what I didn't want to see
And I knew all along that you were gonna leave

So why do I still wish you'd miss me?
Oh-oh, yeah, still wish you'd miss me
Ooh, but I know you don't

The Day I Die

 When my heart stops breaking

When my eyes won't cry
When there's a day I can live without you, baby
It'll be the day I die

I have never ever hurt this way
The pain is almost more than I can take
I'd give anything for you to stay with me
And never say goodbye

When my heart stops breaking
When my eyes won't cry
When there's a day I can live without you, baby
It'll be the day I die

I don't understand the reasons why
Was every "I love you" a lover's lie?
Please, tell me that you felt it at the time
And that what we had was real

When my heart stops breaking
When my eyes won't cry
When there's a day I can live without you, baby
It'll be the day I die

I have nothing if I don't have you
These days all I'm looking forward to

Is when my heart stops breaking
When my eyes won't cry
When there's a day I can live without you, baby
It'll be the day I die
Oh, it'll be the day I die