Magic in Simple Things ...

Way before ...

Way before                 
we knew what this
was all about
                                   I chose you
                                           &
                                 you chose me.
Yes, we had our
other lives
and we chose those, too.

every person, every struggle
every heartache, mistake
was meant to happen
so it could lead
                                 me to you
                                         &
                                 you to me
                                    
~Franki Elliot

Extending Grace

Extending grace looks like and says the following:

•  I still love you even when ...

•  I won't go anywhere even though this hurts.  I'm still right here.

•  Grace moves toward even when we have every reason to move away.

•  Grace says "We will get through this".

•  Grace is letting go of our pride and opening our heart to humility, acknowledging the fact that we are far from perfect and deeply flawed.

•  Grace says you are worth loving even when you make mistakes or poor choices.

•  Grace acknowledges the past is the past and you can never go back.

•  Grace doesn't take the actions of other personally, but chooses to believe it has more to do with them and less to do with you.

•  Grace delivers the message loud and clear that you are there for them and will support them no matter what.

Fears

Fear of closeness may well be our greatest fear, and addiction is an escape, avoidance or defense against intimacy. It is fear of intimacy itself, more specifically, fear of knowing self, and being known, fear of feeling fear. It is in intimate encounters with those closest to us, after all, that we feel most vulnerable, and where our core existential fears—the fear of rejection, inadequacy, abandonment, or loss of self—surface as two partners struggle to position themselves to feel loved and feel their love is valued, who they are is visible and accepted with positive regard, and so on.

Staik, A. (2019). The Root Causes of Codependency and Narcissism?. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 13, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2016/05/the-root-causes-of-codependency-and-narcissism/